When You're Done

When you are done listening, mentally say "Thank you." Express thanks in whatever way feels appropriate. "Thank you, Father, for being with me. Thank you, Mother. Thank you my dear Father-Mother God." Then bring your awareness back to the breath, to the sensations in your nostrils, the taste of the air, and the feeling-tone of who you are - and take several deep breaths before opening your eyes and completing the meditation. Savor the air as you breathe in and out. Breathe with the awareness that you are bringing in something valuable, something that you need and therefore want. Breathe with appreciation, gratitude, enjoyment. Pull in life with each inhalation, and release every sense of strain and fear with each exhalation. Breathe with feeling. Relish the way you feel. Notice how relaxed you are, how peaceful, how at ease. And as your eyes open and you come back into the visible world, be mindful not to immediately tighten up, contract, or shrink and become small again. Stay relaxed, wide open like space.

The only thing you can ever really experience with clarity is yourself. You are the closest thing to you. And when you take the time to become centered and still in order to experience yourself with clarity, you'll experience what is true. You'll experience the fact that God is all there is of you and that God is Love. You'll know this is true because as you get in there and experience yourself in a thought-free unbiased manner, what you will experience won't be nothingness or chaos. Instead, you will experience unblemished lovingness.

This is something you'll get in glimpses. You'll have an intuitive awareness or a sudden clarity that this is true, and then you'll flip back into your old way of thinking about yourself and others. You'll flip back and forth many times, and this may be quite disconcerting at first. Don't let it bother you. Be glad that movement is occurring and that you're not as stuck in your old world view as you used to be. If you were, you would not be flipping back and forth. The fact that you're flipping is a good sign. It means that the strength of your conditioning is weakening.

Be aware also, from that first intuitive glimpse on, that there is a persistent feeling in the back of your mind that what you intuited is what's really true. The remembrance of that glimpse will keep beckoning you, encouraging you to continue meditating even when it's difficult and nothing seems to be happening.   Stick with it. Out of the blue you'll have another glimpse, more revelation, and then you'll flip back - and another glimpse, more revelation, and again you'll flip back. And eventually you'll flip no more. You'll cross over and be convinced. And you'll know what's so.

When you experience yourself in a thought-free manner, it's not that there will be nothing there to experience. It's that your mind, your perception mechanism, will finally be clear enough to experience your reality without distortion. You'll learn that almost everything you thought about yourself was not true. Almost everything you were taught is not true. What is true is that God is Love and God is all there is of you. Therefore, when you experience yourself with clarity, without bias, that is what you will feel. You will know this is true when you experience yourself in a thought-free manner, and not until then.

This is not something you decide in advance and then give your allegiance to. It's something you can only fully give your allegiance to once you've experienced it as true, once you've experienced Reality - right where you are - without distortion. Until you've experienced it, this can only be an intellectual concept. It's an enticing one, however - one that, hopefully, will encourage you more willingly to practice these techniques so as to experience for yourself whether the concept is true or not. Therefore, be curious. Want to know. "What is the truth about me?" The only way you will ever really know one way or the other is by experiencing yourself in a thought-free manner.

This state is not so difficult, really. It's not easy at first, by any means. It can be extremely frustrating and require intense mental discipline. In fact, meditation will probably be one of the most difficult things you've ever undertaken. Don't be mistaken about this. It's rigorous. It'll push you to the edge. It will challenge your sense of sanity. But though it isn't easy, still, it is ultimately simple. It's only difficult to the extent that we're still trying to become different than how we naturally are, and we're doing this out of habit and conditioning. It's ultimately simple - once you get the hang of it. But, at first, it's not easy. Be prepared to work. Be aware that you'll probably stumble many times, and that you'll almost undoubtedly become confused and disoriented. But be aware also that if you will simply persist, it will become easier. You'll become a better meditator every time you practice.

It's ultimately simple because we are already that. We don't have to change or become fundamentally different from how we already are. We need to release the misperception - not become different! To the extent that we're trying to become different from how we actually, naturally, divinely are, it means we think that how we are isn't the way we're supposed to be - that there's something wrong with us that we need to change. And we believe this to the degree that we haven't yet experienced who we are with clarity. If you haven't spent sufficient time "at home" with yourself, free of other people's expectations, you most likely won't have come to an inner peace about who you actually are - by experiencing what's really so. And if you're not in touch with what's true about you, then you can't know that, in fact, there's nothing wrong with you.

The wave will stop trying to become other than how it is when it realizes that it already is everything - the entire ocean - in specific expression, and we'll stop trying to change when we experience our truth. This doesn't mean we'll stop growing. It means we'll stop feeling frustrated with ourselves. The absence of frustration is the perfect soil for real growth, for the flowering of consciousness. We'll stop trying to become different from how we are when we experience the calm bliss that is our natural feeling-tone.

You may think, "Well, I must not be a very good meditator, then, because I'm not experiencing all these wonderful feelings," and feel the accompanying guilt of being a "poor meditator." But this is simply an ego ploy to keep you away from experiencing yourself directly. If that thought catches your attention as it floats through your awareness, if you grab onto it, and especially if you buy into it or agree with it, then you have been effectively deflected from going within. You started moving toward your center, toward the thought-free conscious experience of now, but you made a quick left when you became aware of that thought floating by. You went after it. You became involved with that thought instead of letting it float by and continuing to relax deeply into yourself. And if you never really sink deeply into yourself, if you keep getting sidetracked, then, of course, you're not going to experience the profound peace - which feels like joy, like love - that is the feeling-tone of Being. Not that it's not there to be experienced, but you're not there. You're involved with some other mental activity - which is fine, but it's not how you come upon a clearer and more accurate experience of you. You won't experience the deep, powerful, confident peace of the ocean if you're bobbing around on the surface. You must go deeply within.

I'm not saying we don't need to change. We desperately need to change. We're suffering horribly. We're killing ourselves out of ignorance. We're making ourselves sick. We're polluting our environment. We're not happy. We're secretly afraid of everything. We're unfulfilled and miserable, and our behavior toward one another needs to change radically. The way to "change," "grow," or "become different," though, is by taking the time to experience yourself as you actually are, so you have an accurate starting point. You'll come up with a radically different concept of who you are, who others are, what life is, and what's going on. Everything will take on new meaning. Life will be more meaningful. And your behavior will change and you will be different. But not different from who you've always been! Different from what you thought you were. You'll be minus the illusion. You'll be the you that you really are. Your Light will shine undimmed.

It's simply a matter of relaxing, both physically and mentally - and this may not be easy at first. Being relaxed physically means letting go of muscular tensions, and being relaxed mentally means letting go of thinking, - mental tensions. The idea is to become physically and mentally at peace for these few minutes by not moving and not thinking, and then to be there for the experience. See what's left. Feel the energy you are made of and the Consciousness that you are. Meditation is the cleanest and most direct route for doing this.

For these few quiet minutes of centered sitting, ease your way into thought-free being, and experience the energy you are made of. Instead of thinking, immerse yourself in what it feels like to be you and practice listening inwardly. Commune. Don't bog yourself down thinking this is something you will have to do forever. Do it for these few minutes only, but do it as totally as you can. Immerse yourself fully. Ease your way in. Try it. Simply be present and savor the energy. Savor Consciousness. Commune. Meditate.

Then, during the day, do and be as the energy - your energy - is prompting you to do or be. Move with the flow. Or rather, you are the flow, and if you simply let yourself be in the now - not knowing how you are supposed to be - the flow will move through you unimpeded, without your preconceptions, and it will be very clear to you how you should be and how you should respond. The energy will move you. You will be inspired to action. It will feel like you are running on free energy.